Singrish 3, and some unique Singaporean signage...

 This is a slightly unconventional Singrish post--not all of these are grammatically incorrect, so much as they are strange or incongruous to the American eye. So let's start with something pretty familiar, shall we? The Korean-import notebook is a reliable start.

The small print says "Would you like some flavors that make your mouth come alive/something to set your mouth on fire". Kind of poetic, actually.

I don't even remember what this is! A money pouch or something, I think. Same for the sample below, "Handsome Min Splash". Love it!

 

Classic Chinese-style: "doesn't-really-matter-what-this-shirt-says-English-words-are-cool-right?" 

 

Actually, I think we might have these in the States too. Yes, I figured out that it's supposed to be Bump-its, but doesn't it just look like Bum Pits at first glance?

This just struck me as weird. Maybe no one else will see it, but doesn't it look like the DragonQuest cutout and the Marriage Central one are somehow related? It looks like the scheming dragon is saying, "Yes, dear, say I do to a happy marriage. And then I will kill you and roast you over a spit. Or maybe throw this orb at you, or whatever it is dragons do in this game. Mwahahaha!"

This next one is PRICELESS. I held up people coming out of the restroom behind me to take this photo because it is SO. WEIRD. The top of the word is cut off, but if you can't tell it says "Gentlemen". I.e. this is the sign on the entrance to the men's bathroom. I hope I'm not the only one who thinks this looks like a woman. Kind of like Pink, actually, if the hair weren't black.  I mean, he has full red lips, black-lines eyes, and the standard lesbian/Bieber haircut. I think those boob-shadows are supposed to be pec shadows, but come on people!

And finally, a quote, with a fitting reminder that this post is all in good fun, and that I love and welcome the variations that English takes on.

English is a language composed almost wholly of other languages--only 1% of words in daily use today are descended from the Old English of 1000 years ago. The abundance of Scandinavian, German, Latin, French, and Greek vocabulary and grammar that the language has absorbed is astonishing. That flexibility is one of the things that makes it a fitting global language in today's world. I find it humorous that this quote was on display in support of the government's Speak Good English campaign, which tells Singaporeans that their personalized version of English is not a legitimate variety, but "bad" English rife with mistakes. However, this quote is saying the exact opposite of what whoever put it up their thinks it means. They think it means "The English language doesn't belong to you, so don't mess it up." What it's really saying is "The English language belongs to itself, to the minds of every person who uses it and shapes it." (That's how the author meant it too--he's an esteemed poet and playwright from the Caribbean.) Please, when reading these posts, don't think "Oh, those Singaporeans/Chinese/etc. can't speak English! How quaint." I definitely don't mean it that way, as a linguist or as someone living abroad in a global world. Instead, I hope that when you read this you enjoy a laugh at something that strikes your eye as strange, consider the near-poetry or the resourcefulness that is shown, and appreciate how we live in a global world where languages is nobody's special property, but the property of the imagination.