India: Land of Contrasts, Conflicts, and Con-Artists

Some people might say that many countries could be captioned thus. While that's true, I found this aspect of contrast and conflict most pronounced on my most recent vacation to the cities of Chennai--previously Madras, in South India,  and Kolkata--previously Calcutta, in North India. (I was able to mostly avoid the con-artists by traveling with locals 100% of the time.) 

Let me give you some examples. (And please forgive me/correct me if you think I’ve oversimplified anything too much or gotten anything quite wrong. These are simply my impressions based on a week in only 2 cities in India, a country that would take at least 2 months to visit properly and much longer than that to begin to grasp fully.)

1) Despite the fact that many saris pretty much expose your entire stomach, this is considered the most conservative outfit and people who wear the long and very high-coverage tunic-and-pants combination of a salwar kameez or, GASP, jeans and a t-shirt, are considered by many Indian aunties to be somewhat shameless. (The South is significantly more conservative in this regard.)

2) The history of India, due to various empires and conquerors and historical contexts, is littered with contrasts. It is well-known for the creation of the Kama Sutra, and also well known for the traditions of child brides and encouraging widows throwing themselves on their husband’s funeral pyre. Both the extravagance of the Mughal rulers and the asceticism of holy men. Periods of surprising religious tolerance as well as periods of surprisingly violent religious INtolerance.

3) People can’t seem to decide how they feel about the British. While of course they wanted them out and are pissed about having been colonized, they also seem to appreciate the order that they lent to developing cities in India as well as the schools and universities and general developments in learning that they brought. In other words, they don’t seem as angry about it as I would have thought they would be.

4) Matrimonial ads abound in the Sunday paper, and arranged and semi-arranged marriages are preferred by a huge segment of the older part of society, but at the same time almost every film coming out of Bollywood (or Kollywood, or Tollywood—different cities, yes apparently they’re different) has a very romantic, “boy-meets-girl-dances-joyously-they fall-in-love-another-big-dance-number-and-get-married-BIGGEST-DANCE-NUMBER-OF-ALL” format.

5) There is a separate security line in the airport for women so that your cursory pat-down can be done by a gender-appropriate security guard, and also anyone who ever checks your handbag will be female, and you never even really hang out with people of the opposite sex until college, and a man might very often get to his 20s without ever having seen even the knees of a real live woman he’s not related to, BUT every single person who takes your measurements, including (several) bust measurements, is male, as are the shopkeepers who sell ladies undergarments. 

6) It would seem that Indians in general are early risers—most nightlife shuts down by midnight because of liquor laws, and everything else closes at 9 or 10 later—but most shops and sights don’t open until 11. And also sometimes they take a long lunch break from 1-3 or so.

7) Lots of people are fiercely devoted to their religious affiliation, without really knowing much about what that religion actually says.

And that’s not even going into your standard “poverty in the shadow of wealth” and “different cities are different, go figure” or “wow, young people do things differently than old people” contrasts. I don’t really know how to sum all of that up or explain how it ties into some greater point. I think I’d have to be a South Asian Studies grad student to do that. I will just wrap up with “Isn’t that interesting?” And then segueway into something else…

Like, I found a few great Engrish examples!

This sign is on a small playground. While it's grammatically amusing, I was also a bit sad to see it because I was totally heading over to play on it when I saw the sign :/

 Okay, while India in general is not an Engrish goldmine, I think this one might go in the "best of the best" list. Seriously? I have NO IDEA where this poster came from. Is that guy skydiving? Frantically jumping in front of you to keep you from doing drugs in front of the gate? Falling over from a drug overdose? Frantically making a giant "these are NOT DRUGS" gesture? Or just celebrating the lovely drug-free frontal gate space? If you know, please tell me.

So anywho, I had a FANTASTIC time in India. Most of the day-to-day details will be described in my Facebook albums. The food was incredibly fantastically awesome. The temples and churches were stunning. The seaside was great, the cultural offerings were fascinating, the cities were a riot of color and smell and noise and general LIFE. Suffice it to say that both Vasu and Shreya and their families were fantastic hosts, and both of them took their turn to dress me up in saris. 

 In Chennai. This is a formal, wear to a wedding-type sari. It belongs to Vasu's sister.

In Calcutta. This is my own sari that I bought there, posing with Shreya's upstairs neighbor.

 Shreya's lovely mother, my "kakima" (auntie)

Fully SEVEN middle-aged women (four in Calcutta and three in Chennai) asked me if I wanted them to find me an Indian guy. They said they'd use this sari picture in the "grooms wanted" section of the matrimonial ads ;)

As Indian weddings are the BOMB-DIGGITY, and I am well-known to have a thing for Asian guys, I was quite receptive to the suggestion and I am eagerly waiting to see if any of them will actually follow through with their offers ;)